Park’s Mystery

 The park seems to ignite that spark which leads into flames and consumes most of my being. I have found that the easiest way to happiness is to find happiness in everyday life. It is about letting go of the big pleasures and focusing on the little ones. But when you become contend and happy with whatever little or more you have, isn’t it like falling into a grove? Wouldn’t you be edged away into obscurity? Will you contribute to life? Will people notice that your tiny stream is draining into the ocean that life is? Will you have that feeling of achievement that comes to you when you have accomplished all that you said you would?

 I know now that my boat will float! I have learned to rise and fall with the waves. When water flows in, I take it out. When a little hole erupts, I patch it up. My masts are not very high; my hull is not very long. I do not have the best sail in the world. The question is: do I now start out on a life of frenetic activity to change my thoughts?

 Sure I have dreams. But where is the passion? Where is the energy? Where are the promises unto myself? 

 Teachings of Lao Tzu come to my mind. Our purpose is to be like a conduit. Gentle yet nourishing! We are conduits that allow the flow of vital energy into the people and nature around us. We are to heal and bring new meaning into lives of others. We are to add new perspectives to the global information pool.

WOW she is scary

    There are few people that you consider scary. Now the question is why would people scare you. In my analysis of fear, we are scared of a person when we do not know how they act/react. This is why the kidnappers and muggers are scary. One moment they are regular human beings, the next they hit you and hurt you. You do not know what to expect and when to expect. Serial killers and rapists are even scarier. Here I try to understand why ordinary people can be scary to others.

    So then the question hovers around what makes normal people scary. They don’t intend to harm you, yet every time you think of them a cold chill runs down you spine. Some students are scared of certain teachers. Some people are scared of their managers. Some children are scared of their parents. Then there are those who are just scared of everyone!

    Do you fall under any of the above categories? Maybe. So then we should look at why the person frightens you.

    The most common reason why a normal person might scare you is because you do not know that person well enough. The flip side is also true. The person does not know you too well and hence acts in a particular way that is distasteful to you. Thus she falls under the category of “Different from me”. Now since we know and are comfortable with the way we act and behave, we end up expecting the same from others. The “Different from me” category obviously behaves in a way that is alien to you. Hence you are not able to predict the way she behaves. Consequently unintentionally she hurts you and you interpret that as an intentional gibe at you.

    And of course anyone who intentionally hurts you is a person you should be scared of. Thus the conclusion I am arriving at is that a normal person who is scary could be one you do not well enough. It could also be the case that the person does not know you well enough.

    Thus we have identified why a person scares us. Now the question is what do we do about it? How do we address this fear and is the fear unfounded?

    The fear is not unfounded because there is potential for hurt and damaged relationships. Thus we acknowledge the fear and work at deepening the understanding. Once you can understand the person better then you can relate to her behavior. Once you relate to the behavior then the fear factor disappears.

    Well the above approach was theoretical and is meaningless if I can’t find a practical example to corroborate my findings.

Example:

    Take the case of Sujay and Kim. They went to college together. Sujay normally sits in the last bench of class and Kim sits in the first bench. Kim is very studious and is often the teacher’s pet. Sujay is often not seen in class. Kim thought he falls under the category of “Different from me”. They had a mutual disrespect for each other. Sujay thought that Kim is Miss. Goody Two Shoes and Kim thought that he couldn’t be trusted, bordering evil.

    This perception changed all of a sudden when they went for a field trip together. Kim tripped and fell into a pond. Sujay helped her out. Kim thought he was sweet and spent a few hours talking to him. Sujay realized that she is quite interesting. A new relationship blossomed.

    The moral of the story is not that we need to wait for accidents to set relationships straight. Proactive measures to assuage our fears can prove helpful.

Continuous improvement as your purpose

    Let this article be really short! Inspired when pangu started searching his purpose in life.

    How about this “Continuous improvement”? A long time ago, I searched for my purpose and where and what I should be doing. I found a million different things to do. After evaluating about fifty or so, I found none of them could fall under the category of “Purposeful things in life”. That’s when I gave up evaluating the remaining million – 50 things.

    I realized that it would be a lot easer if you keep your purpose as continuous improvement. If each day I can go to bed saying that I am better by a fraction since yesterday then I am living my purpose. By better it could mean many things.

· You learnt something new
· You told someone special you love him/her
· You did/said something nice to someone
· You made somebody else’s day/ made them happy
· You tried a new desert
· You made an important decision
· You did not procrastinate
· It’s been one week since you stuck to your exercise plan
· You laid the foundation for building your career
· You kept a promise to yourself
· You had a merry evening with your friends
· You solved a problem that was bugging you
· You found new confidence in yourself
· You realized a few of your weakness
· You said the truth
· You read a great book
· You did not waste time day dreaming
· You laughed yourself to death
     And the list goes on. But it’s for you to define your own list and see if can check one of the points in that list every day. If you can, then that day you have lived your purpose.

Those stupid things

Some people regret the things they did, but for me the regrets are the ones I haven’t done

1.Run away from home, get caught by cops, come back and apologize to my parents
2.Go on a cruise around the world with no money on a ship
3.Pee across the border onto China
4.Go for a midnight stroll in a thick forest and come face to face with a tiger
5.Start a business before 21
6.Try printing fake money
7.Beat up someone and later become best friends
8.Go for a country wide marathon
9.Work as a life guard at a beach
10.Learn at least 10 languages
11.Tell a Miss World I love her and get thrown out
12.Vote
13.Call up someone who I haven’t seen in 10 years
14.Learn to read a crystal ball
15.Memorize Lincoln’s, King’s, Nehru’s most famous speeches
16.Read all of Shakespeare works
17.Call home while sky diving
18.Fly a plane
19.Steal from the rich and give to the poor
20.Become an astronaut
21.Take a girl to the top of Mt. Everest