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The golden rules of drinking

   Contrary to expectations this article was penned when I was sober. These rules are written after years of analysis and experimentation. Many discussions with drunkards and non-drunkards have contributed to this final draft. These rules are for the drinkers who want to have fun with minimum consequences later when they are sober. I have taken into consideration the emotions of a regular drinker who will fell awful if he doesn’t get his share of the fun.

1. Thou shall not drink alone
2. Thou shall drink only with people thy trust
3. Thou shall not talk about people of the opposite sex while drunk
4. Thou shall not walk or drive while inebriated
5. Thou shall commence drinking only when thy spirits are soaring
6. Thou shall not drink when thy spirits are clouded by a sad disposition
7. Thou shall not mix thy drinks
8. Thou shall not talk about anything but idiotism
9. Thou shall not try to give advice while high
10.Thou shall drink only when everyone in thy company drinks
11.Thou shall retire quietly to thy bed after gooooood fun
   These rules do not apply to social / official drinking where you should never get high in the first place. These rules are only for the occasions where a few good friends get together to have “clean” good fun, exploring the effects of alcohol on the human brain.