The golden rules of drinking
Contrary to expectations this article was penned when I was sober. These rules are written after years of analysis and experimentation. Many discussions with drunkards and non-drunkards have contributed to this final draft. These rules are for the drinkers who want to have fun with minimum consequences later when they are sober. I have taken into consideration the emotions of a regular drinker who will fell awful if he doesn’t get his share of the fun.
1. Thou shall not drink alone
2. Thou shall drink only with people thy trust
3. Thou shall not talk about people of the opposite sex while drunk
4. Thou shall not walk or drive while inebriated
5. Thou shall commence drinking only when thy spirits are soaring
6. Thou shall not drink when thy spirits are clouded by a sad disposition
7. Thou shall not mix thy drinks
8. Thou shall not talk about anything but idiotism
9. Thou shall not try to give advice while high
10.Thou shall drink only when everyone in thy company drinks
11.Thou shall retire quietly to thy bed after gooooood fun
These rules do not apply to social / official drinking where you should never get high in the first place. These rules are only for the occasions where a few good friends get together to have “clean” good fun, exploring the effects of alcohol on the human brain.
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Good one. Always wanted to compile one of these. Actually was planning to today after y’day’s tryst
! But, dang ya beat me to it :-p!!
Mr. Wonton!
These golden rules are much like commandments for drunkards. I personally, agree on most of the points, but i’d also like to add one more; The Diamond Sutra:
Thou shall not try to recall and follow all these rules while drinking. Otherwise you won’t loose control and loose all fun.
and ze best o all ..
Thou shalt Bloody never miss an opportunity to when ur chad budz are drunk!!!
!
This is so incredibly gay. You are so incredibly gay.
esthappen peter mon -> care to explain ur thought process?
And for the record; I am not gay
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very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
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[...] Speaking of which, I suppose first time drinkers ought to go for draught beer (pronounced “draft”) and not the bottled ones. I know zilch about beers, I’m starting to take interest. Read: the golden rules of drinking. [...]
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